Who is sick now?

It seems that our little Happy girl is doing better! She is not totally out of the sickness "woods" yet, but I do see improvement. Since I only have a few more sabbaths here on the continent, I decided that it would be nice to just stay in and spend some time with a baby. To the left, you see that I have engaged in our favorite activity - bathtime! This is one of my favorite parts of sabbath. Unfortunately, it is also the activity that reveals to me just how how dangerously thin Happy can get. I grabbed clothes from the nursery to dress her. Unfortunately, the size 3month clothes didn't fit. I had grabbed a newborn outfit because it was cute, but I never thought she could actually wear it. I was wrong. The outfit you see her sleeping in is size NB. It breaks my heart to see her so thin. She'll be 11 months old on the 10th. I have got to get this child out of Tanzania and to a better hospital so we can figure out what is wrong with her. But alas. That is not the reality we live in.

Here are some more pictures of our day. And at the end some information on one of our new volunteers and "her" baby!

Happy's little skeletal system is making an appearance. Scary thin.




See the nail clippers? Bigger than her hand.

Waking up from our afternoon nap!

This is Rahman and a new volunteer, Kezia.

Rahman hasn't been feeling well, so Kezia has made a point of holding him everyday and monitoring his health. He is such a beautiful, sweet little boy and I think these two are fast friends!

Such good friends in fact, that Rahman decided Kezia would make for a good place to vomit! Pole Kezia. Double POLE as Kezia has now been in bed for 24 hours with her own bout of vomiting. Ah, the life of a Cradle volunteer!

What can I do to help?: Happy goes to the Hospital

Dear Readers:

If you are a long term visitor to my blog, you will note that there are certain children that I tend to “spotlight” more than others. Happy Edward Msaki is one such child. She and I have bonded in ways that I did not expect and she is just a delight to my life. Last week, she was stricken with vomiting and diarrhea. After receiving a positive test for malaria, she was treated and expected to make a full recovery. However, our staff supervisor came into the office early yesterday morning asking for urgent intervention as our little Happy girl was vomiting again and dangerously dehydrated. I was supposed to go to Arushatown with Davona, but I accompanied our nurse to the hospital instead. It took over 45 minutes to get an IV started on Happy. Her veins are just too small and the dehydration made it almost impossible to find access. It literally took three different nurses (including our own) to get a successful vein. Happy screamed the entire time and another woman had to end up holding her as I nearly passed out! All the nurses kept asking “what’s wrong with the Mzungu?” And my nurse from Cradle would say “blood” and they would all nod their heads and giggle! They ended up moving me to one of the beds in the pediatric ward because I was “very white” (as opposed to my normal shade of pale!). I have seen many procedures on children, but the stress of having this tiny 11 pound wonder losing her mind as the nurses twist, and poked, and squeezed, and dug for a vein… I think it was emotionally too much. I knew it was in Happy’s best interest to gain access, but I didn’t handle her crying very well. Great parenting Shae!!! Anyway, here are a few pictures from our time in the hospital. I stayed with her through the day and our Cradle nurse stayed with her at night. Get well Happy girl.

This is the pediatric ward. 8 beds in one large room.

Happy on her bed. No cribs. No pretty colors on the wall. Not your typical Peds ward! Just a mosquito net and a pole to hang her IV drip. Primitive but clean so I really can’t complain. Also, the sisters at the hospital couldn’t have been nicer.

Poor little Happy was really too weak to drink but she did anyway and I was thrilled.

At any American hospital, you enjoy the comforts of air conditioning, a gift shop, a phone, the cafeteria, televisions and trash cans!!! But here in Tanzania, you bring your own everything. Food, water, toilet paper, entertainment, blankets, sheets, bags for trash, wipes, etc. Florida Hospital is looking like the freakin’ Ritz-Carlton to me, right now !!!! Of course, it only costs $5 to stay here overnight. I’m pretty sure Florida Hospital is a LITTLE more expensive than that!

After a full drip, and a few hours of sleep, Happy was becoming more enthusiastic to drink some milk. She just took the bottle from me and attempted to hold it herself. All my pictures of her are so deceiving because she looks a little pudgy in her face. But look closely… this is a small, 4 ounce bottle, and look how big it is compared to her head. This child is 10 months old and wearing a 0-3 month outfit. All parents would understand this… she is still in stage/size 1 diapers. She’s tiny!

Thank you to all my readers out there! I am always amazed when I meet people of whom I have never met, but they know me from this blog. Its a blessing to be able to share this experience with all of you. Please, please, please, feel free to leave a comment as it helps me to feel connected and get to know those who are reading.

~Shae

Who is that?: Hidaya goes home for a visit

About three weeks ago, I got the privilege of accompanying Ashley to the home of baby Hidaya. Hidaya has been at Cradle of Love Baby Home almost since birth. She lost her mother but has a surviving baba, dadas, kaka, and two bibis (that's father, sisters, brother, and two grandmothers!). Hidaya's older siblings and one grandmother had only seen her once, whereas her father and maternal grandmother had only seen her a few times. It was upon the visit of Hidaya's father to Cradle just days before Ashley was to return to the United States, that she was invited to visit his home and meet the family. The following is a simple pictorial of her visit (I was invited to accompany and capture the moments). Visiting this home further helps me to feel confident in our work here at Cradle. Without a living mother and without us, these families would have no where to turn and would lose their babies. I'm so happy that we can be here to help them in their times of crisis. Its truly our privilege and honor.

Room one of two: Where the family gathers to eat and socialize

The friend who referred the family to Cradle of Love was also there to visit with Hidaya

Hidaya's beautiful three year old sister

Me in the alleyway leading to Hidaya's home





Hidaya cried a lot during the visit but her Baba didn't mind! Daddy's love their little girls!

The whole family, with a few friends that you might recognize

Go ahead and sleep Hidaya. Its already been a long day.

Where are you going?

Walking. It seems like it is something that I take for granted. I've never thought about it as much as I have here in Tanzania. Walking is everything. Its freedom. Its transportation. Its unifying and dividing. You wouldn't think so... but it is! And I am so sure that it is never anything that you ever think about. Its a gift. And we don't even realize it. But after watching some of our children struggle to use their legs to walk and volunteers struggle to use their legs to walk away, I decided to dedicate this blog to walking.... what we walk to, what we walk from, and the simple act of learning how to use our legs for the first time (and for Pendo, the second time!).

  This week, Ashley left to return to her exciting life in the United States. We all walked to a favorite local "cafe" and enjoyed a last meal together before she stepped on that plane back to Seattle. It was a beautiful time together that signified a closure to her life here at Cradle with us, Hidaya, and all the other babies. Good luck Ashley! We all know that you are going to do great in your new endeavor into Labor and Delivery.

   Little Peter is just learning to walk! He is the smaller baby of a set of twin boys. His brother Eric is cruising through the baby home at lightning speed. But Peter is taking his time... We are optimistic that he will catch up soon. Because Peter has a will to be a "big boy" like all the other one year olds his age, I am sure he will be on his feet soon. He just needs a little more love and a little more encouragement from the rest of us volunteers. And Peter, we'll give it to ya'! Because you are a beautiful little boy and you deserve all the best that we can give you!!!!

And then here we have the little charmers! This boy and girl twin set of terror initially did not make a positive impression on me. At times they still don't! Because these little ones are quickly approaching two years old and they have no language skills or walking abilities. Brother Dotto is a screaming fool and sister Kurwa has a matching tone and pitch that at times makes it difficult to determine which one is upset! But I've realized that the heart of their screams comes from frustration from lack of mobility and communication. We are working very hard to get them on their damaged feet and legs (due to months/years of sitting up criss-crossed, their feet are turned in and will not lay flat. Additionally, they have learned to "scoot" on their butt instead of crawling with their legs and feet behind them. This has furthered the problem of their legs and feet being curled into their bodies and not straight. We do a little PT with them everyday now!) Still, I have to tell you... these two are some of the most strikingly beautiful children I have ever seen! I was so caught up in their bad behavior that I was missing the moments with them that are truly magical. Dotto has most recently attached himself to me. I didn't realize it until a nanny pointed it out to me. He always scoots his way over to me whenever I am in the play room and reaches his arms for me to hold him. Some of his screaming has been in frustration over me holding other babies before he could get to me. And I had no idea! Walking. Its the difference between Dotto getting affection and being passed over. I'm gonna' be more aware of THAT in the future...

And last, but not least, is your girl Pendo. Just this week, she has stopped grunting and crying and started to babble. Her vocals are soft and sometimes almost inaudible... but they are there! We passed by a group of staff and she says to me "Mamusa." What? What was that Pendo? "Mama Musa!" she says in a louder voice. And she was right. She pointed to our staff supervisor as we passed by and proudly said our supervisor's name! "That's right Pendo, its Mama Musa. Good job!". She keeps giggling at me when I walk in a room and is slowly turning into a TWO YEAR OLD! She likes to crawl over to me when I have a smaller baby in my lap and play with them. She is still a little weak, but she has started to give them kisses and plays until they knock her over (oops!). But then she did something this week that I was so lucky to catch on video! You will hear me get really excited and you will also notice flashes of pictures being taken by other volunteers. Its a really beautiful moment caught on camera. I actually cried when I watched it later that evening. I can't wait to show her mother when she comes to visit.

   OK, HERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN AWESOME VIDEO OF PENDO WALKING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE COMING TO CRADLE OF LOVE.  BUT AFTER SO MANY DIFFERENT ATTEMPTS AND DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO GETTING THIS VIDEO TO PROCESS... IT WON'T!  ANYONE ELSE HAVE SUGGESTIONS OR HAD PROBLEMS WITH GETTING VIDEO ON BLOGSPOT.  WENT TO THE INTERNET AND IT DIDN'T HELP MUCH.  BUT I REALLY WANT YOU GUYS TO SEE THE VIDEO.  SO SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME!!

Imani, Tumaini, na Upendo,

~Shae

Where else can a volunteer deliver a baby all by herself?

My friend Ashley (rt. in picture) volunteers at a local Tanzanian hospital, as well as serving some volunteer time here at Cradle of Love. She recently graduated in the states with her BS Nursing and wanted to use some of her skills here before she returns to the states and enters the work force. Did she get some experience? Boy, did she ever! Read all about her adventures in the labor and delivery "ward" at Tangeru Hospital by visiting her blog at http://wolfecrossing.wordpress.com. All of my friends who currently work in the field of nursing would love an opportunity like this one. And they too can have an experience like the one Ashley describes in her blogs by flying across the ocean and giving up a little time to Africa. I mean, where else can a volunteer deliver a baby all by herself? NO WHERE! Ah, Africa. You never cease to bore me.

On a side note, fellow volunteer, and now dear friend Ashley will be leaving the Cradle campus on Wednesday. She arrived only a few weeks after I did so she has been with me for the majority of my time here. I will miss her in ways that I am sure, right now, I don't even know. ASHLEY, you have been a great friend and awesome volunteer. My remaining two months will not be the same without you. Thanks for your love and support of me when things were getting too stressful and a little hairy! Apart from the fact that I hope we will know each other for many years to come, I hope that we collectively served our babies well. Baby Hidaya will miss you. But I promise to take very good care of her in your absence as I know you would do for me and my special baby.

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts.

~Shae

Here is a picture of the two of us while visiting Zanzibar.

How cute is this !?!?

We are preparing for this season's Christmas card at Cradle of Love and have been taking pictures of the children in Christmas outfits Davona and I found at the second hand clothing market. Here is a sneak peek at some of the photos we took. I am unhumbly taking credit for this shot as I thought it would be cute to have our twins giving each other a little Chrstimas kiss!!! The girls probably thought I was crazy as I was exclaiming "busu, busu" (kiss, kiss) and trying to get the shot! But as you can see, they look absolutely adorable in their holiday attire and sharing the love! To see more pictures of our little ones in their season's best, head on over to www.cradleoflove.com. And feel free, as always, to make a donation. THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE SUPPORTED CRADLE OF LOVE OVER THE LAST YEAR. WE COULDN'T HAVE HELPED AS MANY BABIES WITHOUT YOU!

~Shae

How Pendo got her groove back

Over the last year, I have had a few people tell me regarding different situations with children "you wouldn't understand because you are not a parent." This phrase has always baffled me because I always wonder, "well, how would you know if I understand or not?" The reality is that there are a few things that I WON'T understand until I am the sole adult responsible for one specific child. I am not so naive to think that I know EVERYTHING and understand EVERYTHING that comes with being a parent. However, there are most things that I DO understand about being a parent... and not just understanding.... but FEELING as a parent feels regarding their children. I have asked two former nannies/caregivers who are now parents if their love, committment, fears, and understanding is less for the children of which they were their nannies. And these two women told me "no." They say that the burden of these children's eternal happiness is not there as they would not have those children for life. But the love and committment was no different. They say it is stronger for their own children, naturally, but that the children of whom they cared for as a nanny still hold exceptional places in their hearts that will live there forever. And there is nothing that they wouldn't do for those children...as they would do for their own.

Hhmmmmmmnnn. Interesting.

The point of me mentioning all this is to help you understand my overwhelming joy at the recent success of our little Pendo. She has changed in leaps and bounds over these past 5 weeks. There were days when I really wasn't sure if we were making any difference to her recovery or if we were just prolonging her agony. But I must tell you that the beautiful efforts of our nurse, our staff supervisor, the three dedicated nannies who fought for her, the patient volunteers, other staff, and "mama Pendo" (I'll let you guess who was the recipient of that name!) has made a difference! Look at our girl now:

Just last Friday, I took a chance and put her in the swing outside. Her bones are still a little fragile so I was especially careful to make sure she was sitting on extra clothing and her thick nappy. Imagine my surprise when the normally serious and sullen Pendo started to smile... then giggle! It was in that moment that I realized she had dimples! The flesh in her face had FINALLY repaired enough to show her dimples. It was a beautiful moment in which I will never forget for as long as I live. Pendo has dimples! And it only took 5 weeks to see them. Amazing. Ashley was beside me and we could have cried.







Here are a few more pictures of her. She is quite annoyed with me because I won't let her have my camera. She has recently been crying over shoes. SHOES! She wants to wear the dressy, black patent leather shoes that some of the other little girls were wearing. After much effort, I finally found some from our clothing supply that fits her. She loves them. And that assures me that she is truly making progress.

Pendo is still very thin and has a long way to go. But her will to be a normal 2.5 year old is getting stronger. A few days ago when Ashley and I were away, Pendo desperately tried to pull herself up in her crib. The nannies then started working with her by standing her up in the playpen and letting her lean over the edge. She only lasts for about 5 minutes, but this helps her get in the practice of using her legs. She hasn't stood up in over 5 months. She has to re-learn how to crawl, stand, balance, and walk again. You can see from the picture how bow-legged her bones have become. But she is determined and we'll do everything we can to help her. GO PENDO!!!




Thank you God for the opportunity to "parent" these children. And thank you readers for giving all of us the encouragement to be here.

+ a lot of love =


So this concludes the tale of HOW PENDO GOT HER GROOVE BACK!

~Shae

Remember when we went to Zanzibar?

I love being here at Cradle of Love. I feel really blessed and actually LUCKY to be able to serve my volunteer time here with the babies. But 51 children are a lot to care for. Its exhausting. Parents are amazing people. I am always amazed at how well single parents schedule their time to take care of their children, work, go to school, church, and have a little social time thrown in. Amazing. Anyway, I was afforded an opportunity to take a few days away and have a proper holiday (vacation). So the following is a pictorial journey through my time with Ashley (a fellow volunteer) and our trip to Zanzibar!!!!!

Here, Ashley and I make stops at several airports to and from our destinations. No, toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore! Ashley and I are still learning what "5 minutes" in Africa really means! Because the airline changes the flight times for departure at will and decides that the plane will board AND take off 45 minutes PRIOR to scheduled time. We thought this was Africa where everything runs behind schedule and at a slower pace. NOT TRUE! We almost missed connecting flights... TWICE! Oh Dar es Salaam... why do you taunt us so! And what is up with your scary corridors??????

We arrived at our destination and the accommodations were better than we imagined. We had a great time just laying by the pool (a COMPLETE luxury here!) and reading while chilling on an elevated mat or hammock. Oh, this was exactly what we needed for proper relaxation.

Oh, and the food. Who could forget about that? I would love to tell you that we ventured out and tried all these new and exciting things. But the reality is that we stayed close to our lodge because the food in the restaurants and huts nearby was fab! We had the best chapati on the planet. We even got the recipe from the chef! Amazing. So, no need to wander! And Coca-Cola... please bring "Stoney Tangawizi" to the states. I will miss that drink when I return to Florida.

YUM!!! I love my Tangawizi!

In addition to laying by the pool, eating, talking about babies, and reading, we got to do a little snorkeling. I would love to show you pictures of our adventure out on the sea, but from the following photographs you will see why there was no opportunity to picture take. Feast your eyes on our snorkel transport:

There's really no opportunity to bring a camera in a canoe!!!!

The one thing I really did love about being here at the lodge we selected is that the tide rolled out very far to the reef. So, for about three hours in the midday, you could walk a few hundred meters out on the ocean floor. All the local boats would be sitting in the soft sand, just waiting for the tide to roll back in. And the bright green seaweed would gently lay awaiting the arrival of the Indian Ocean's current. Amazing.




Ashley and I had a good time on this holiday. We had great fun hanging with the staff of our lodge talking hip-hop and pop-culture, putting on make-up (just because!), always reading a book, and going to Stonetown on our way out of Zanzibar. All in all, this was a great time for me as a volunteer, as a woman, and as a human being enjoying God's great beauty! I would visit Zanzibar again, but feel blessed if this is my only opportunity to ever see it. Now, its back to the babies. And here's a teaser for the next blog... Pendo has dimples!!!! Who knew? Anyway, here's more random pictures of our time. Enjoy.

Hannah R.- you would love it! Bring M. on a vacation here! You guys would have such fun.

Oh, one last thing... how could I forget? This final picture is of Ashley, me, and our beloved Almas! In true "brother" fashion, he took us to the airport, insisted that we call him to let him know of our safe arrival, and picked us up from the airport with a big smile on his face and much to tell us about the week. We love Almas. I think I will miss him as much as the babies when I return to the United States. Anyway, ciao!

~Shae