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DUE TO THE GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF MALNUTRITION AND DISEASE, PLEASE READ THIS BLOG WITH CAUTION AND RESPECT TO THE IMAGE THAT FOLLOWS. (this is a repost as I have changed the picture from the original posting)

I have been sitting here for a while now, debating about what I would write for this blog. I have had an interesting few days and I have been a little focused on self. And thats ok sometimes. But today marks a new phase in this mission to Tanzania. I initially came here to Africa to offer myself as a missionary. My loyalties were to God, Organization X, Cradle of Love, and then everyone and everything else. Now, my loyalties are so different. Today, I am reminded of what the mission can be and what it should be. And as I am quickly approaching the half-way mark on my time here in Tanzania, I want my blogs to reflect the mission. Sometimes they will be funny. Sometimes serious. But always honoring the only thing that comes after God and before EVERYTHING else... and that loyalty is the one I hold with our babies here at Cradle of Love.

Some of the other volunteers and I made a decision a long time ago to never show pictures that would terrorize, exploit, belittle, objectify, or dishonor a child in any way. Furthermore, we decided that any image that only elevated our needs and aggrandize our situation, but did not serve the children any purpose, would also been inappropriate to post. So it is with MUCH consideration and review of that pact we all made regarding published images, that I share with you the picture below. (Image has been changed since original post was published-- as this is less graphic and in keeping with my original commitment of photo sharing).

Her name is Penda (its actually Pendo. I made a type before!)- and that means love. Her full story can be found on the Cradle of Love website where you will find this same picture. I am still unsure how long I will keep this photo up or if I will delete it altogether. My heart is conflicted. She is a 2 year old child who has a name, a family, and hopefully the chance for a future. And I don't want her to be a statistic for my blog. I want her to have the opportunity to fight.

But this, right here, is the mission. Thank you to everyone who supports us at Cradle of Love. Your support allows us to not worry about where we are going to get our next box of wipes and nappy rash cream. But instead, we can rely on you to take care of those needs, and allow us to work on the needs most critical. Like Penda. Your prayers and support are not going to help a nameless child. You are helping THIS child right here.

~Shae

UPDATE ON PENDO: Our nurse made the decision to insert a feeding tube to best get nutrition into this sick little girl. We are only putting infant formula and warm water into her now as not to shock her delicate system, but to get her organs functioning properly. When her body starts adjusting to the nutrition, we will then add vitamin drops and higher caloric liquids. We are battling time. But its worth the fight!!

You've got to reach out

I didn't want to wake up a roommate to take a picture of me. But I wanted you to see the joy. So here I am. Today was one of the most emotionally taxing days since being here in Tanzania. And I've had some tough days over the last nine weeks. So that is saying a lot. My gamut of emotion was actually unexpected. But it was good. Because today, I realized how different I am, how much I have grown, and how silly lucky I am. Silly lucky! Today, I had to welcome people from the United States who really hurt me and let me down upon my arrival here at the Cradle of Love. But I welcomed them with excitement and I tried to do it honorably. In the short two hours they were here, I heard that some of them had a life changing experience. If they only knew how much deeper and TRULY life changing it gets after being here with these children for MORE than two hours, they would never have left. I have now been here over two months and I am convinced that even with all the things that I have learned about orphanages, children, GOD, culture, people and myself... that I have only scratched the surface. I have so much to learn. So much. So. Much. But God chose me to be here. And I'm really lucky he did.

And I have to tell you friends.... tears well up in my eyes as I type this... that I have seen God today. Ok, I'm not claiming that I have seen seen God, but I feel his love, mercy, grace, and friendship pour out in the form of a bag of material things. I know it may sound stupid, but receiving all the donated items from you guys in the United States just fills my heart. I have been thinking about this day for WEEKS now. And please don't misunderstand, its not that I am excited about the stuff. I am excited about seeing the reflection of your love and support. I am excited about seeing the letter that was so beautifully (and heartfelt) prepared for me. I am excited about touching the things that you touched. The things that you thought about and planned for and bought and sent and coordinated and, and, and. Ok, I am excited about the skittles and my flat iron. You have to give me something to be a little selfish about! Whatev. But I am most excited that --for those of you who believe in God-- you have allowed him to do a good work in you in the form of gathering things for our needs here. And for those of you who believe in something a little different-- whatever that may be-- thank you for being inspired to help. Its just so amazing. So many of you have heard me and seen me say it before; I am only successful because of the love and support you give me.

So I will repeat what I stated before. I am a silly lucky woman. Silly lucky. So, my tears are done. Lets get down to business!!!

I took pictures of everything that I received. Unfortunately, my director here at Cradle of Love didn't understand the excitement and emotional implications of receiving your gifts today, so she dumped the bag out in her office and started opening stuff without me!!! When I walked into her office and saw "our stuff" everywhere I was devastated. I was looking forward to opening the bag and pulling out each little surprise-- but I am a big girl and I can get over the dissapointment. Anyway, I tried to gether everything up and I took it to my apartment. Here are the pictures of it all. Please leave comments or send emails and let me know WHO donated WHAT! Even if it was a note and a bag of Skittles (Thanks Mrs. Tillman!), I want to know. EVERY SINGLE THING IS A BLESSING TO ME AND TO OUR BABIES!

I heard that this came from Rachel Scherwin's sister. Are you kidding me with this? These are BEAUTIFUL. I think they are too nice for us to use!!! I found pins too. Also from the sister? Everyone, feel free to chime in with the info.

I am really loving my own "medical kit". Its cute. And it comes from my mother. Something that every child should get from mom... nomatter what the age. Thanks for taking the time hear me and to care about my needs. A girl needs this sometimes.

Ok, these cloth nappies look special ordered! Tania Hufanda, do you take credit for this? Whomever made these happen... they are amazing. Thank you. And btw, Tania, thank you for coordinating the packing of all these things. Taping up the ziploc was so instrumental as the NyQuil leaked but everything was protected. Again, thanks is cheap. But its what I have to offer. And its so sincere.


40. Four-Oh. In swahili- arobaini. Thats the number of diaper rash creams that we received in this package. Now, I know that was a team effort. Thank you so much! Awesome. Forty. I still can't believe it.

We never seem to remember to get lotion on these kids! And some of our babies and toddles are scratching the hell out of their skin from dryness and dermatitis. THANK YOU for the small individual packets of lotions. I am handing them out to volunteers tomorrow and telling them to go to town on some of our children's skin.

Thank you to the Stovash, Case, & Tingley crew for the much needed office supplies. I was trying to explain the rolling white out dispensers to my director here at the baby home. So she was a little excited to see them in person. And pens! And trash bags! You guys are too much. I want a list of names of those who contributed! I know some of you put in so much effort. I could have never imagined how much you guys were pulling for me and the babies here. Silly lucky.

Items from my own stash in storage (thanks Chad and Susan) and items that are new. But one thing perplexes me... the black shoes. You see, I had these exact pair of shoes when I worked at SCT. But I wore the heck out of them and thought I had gotten rid of them. But then these show up and I honestly have no idea if they are new or if I am so delirious with emotions that I am actually looking at my old shoes. Help! the bottom of the soles have scuff which seem like worn shoes... but not enough scuff to be ACTUAL worn shoes... what am I missing here? Karina, did you buy these for me? I must be delirious??? Anyway, I am THRILLED to have them.

Letter from home. Enough said.

Its midnight here in Tanzania, and I need to go to bed. Thank you. An entire village has seen to my needs. I am so proud and I love that I can brag about you, my AMAZING friends. The babies and I send you love.

~Shae

X

...5, 6, 7, 8,who do we appreciate??

Well, I am currently appreciating my friends Susan and Chad Hess. They do so much for me stateside. To say "thank you" is just not enough. So, my THANK YOU will include a picture that I commandeered from one of their sites. Don't be mad, S & C. I just wanted everyone to see your smiling faces and know that I love you and I am so proud to have you in my life. I'm the lucky girl in this friendship. You guys got screwed being stuck with me!!! Hahaha. Love you!

Ok, this blog is short because the ONE baby I am caring for today is currently taking her afternoon nap, and I am off to join her. I return to Cradle of Love today, where I will no longer have one baby... but 49 babies. So I figure that I need to rest up while I can.

If you want to see even more pictures of the babies and hear about life from another volunteer's perspective, please visit Ashley's blog at the address below. I tried to hyperlink it, but was unsuccessful. So, just cut and paste and enjoy her blog. BTW, she was the volunteer from "tales from the crib". The second installment of tftc is coming soon.

http://wolfecrossing.wordpress.com/


Note to self #9 - Sleep. Everything else can wait. Just sleep.

~Shae

We are broken

“There’s one thing we know. There is one thing I can say. If you wanna find God, you can find God with the poor. And that’s the one thing we know about God. Its that God is always with the poor and the most vulnerable. God is in the slums and those kids playing house in cardboard boxes. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in those people that have no where else to turn. That's where you will find God. And that’s, you know, not every reason why I am here. But its certainly one of the blessings, on my life, is being able to serve the poor because it gives me something. “

~ commenting on his travels through Africa, Paul Hewson, activist and philanthropist, a/k/a Bono, rockstar and lead singer of U2

But in my mind's eye I can see a place Where Your glory fills every empty space All the cancer is gone Every mouth is fed And there's no one left in the orphans' bed Every lonely heart finds their one true love And there's no more goodbye And no more not enough And there's no more enemy No more ~Steven Curtis Chapman

James 1:2-4
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Cause we are broken/what must we do to restore/our innocence/and oh, the promise we adored/give us life again/’cause we just want to be whole.

~Josh Farro and Hayley Williams

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.
Nelson Mandela

May the good Lord be with you Down every road you roam And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home And may you grow to be proud Dignified and true And do unto others As you'd have done to you Be courageous and be brave And in my heart you'll always stay Forever Young

The above picture is the backside of our gate and the Cradle of Love sign from inside our walls. This is the last thing you see before exiting our home. I thought it was very fitting with the first line of the lyric being "May the Good Lord be with you down every road you roam". Here's to hoping that, despite our own frailties and faults, we served our babies well. And that they find a place in this world that is all their own!

~Shae

Vision

I want to thank the volunteer who brought these green sheets and left them prior to my arrival at Cradle of Love. There were many bed linens left for our use and I am very grateful. I don’t think I could have fit one more thing into my luggage!! Apart from that, please note the pile of tissues laid out on my floor. I’m not sure, but this picture may represent a bad night! I could not have made it through the last couple of days without the use of this fantastic little product. I’m telling you, its magical. MAGICAL!

If I ever was going to endorse a brand, Alka-Seltzer Plus FLU would be the one! Oh my goodness. I only vomited once, but I had SEVERE body aches, congestion, cough, runny nose, and headache. I think that I have a nasty sinus infection. And unless you have ever had that to the extreme, you have no idea how bad your body feels. However, I managed. I will say that in the middle of the night/morning (its 4:30 a.m. as I am writing this) I got very frustrated and threw down my empty bottle of cough syrup. Its from England and it tastes NASTY. But in a pinch, it will do the trick. Well, my frustration of being unable to sleep due to cough and congestion got the best of me and I tossed it to the floor. ITS A GLASS BOTTLE! But as you can see from the picture, its still intact. Amazing.

Anyway, I will only be here at Cradle for a few more days and then I get a little reprieve. We had an American family volunteer here this summer and they just returned this week to see about adoption of one of our babies. In a twist and turn that can only be the hand of God, the family and extended family of this baby agreed to the adoption and in a matter of three days, the adoptive family had acquired the advocate, social services, proper housing, release of child, and consent to adoption and was given permission to start foster care of this child! Unfortunately, they came this week on a fact finding mission. They never dreamed that they would find the family, get consent, find an attorney, get physical custody, etc., etc. SO, they have returned to the states to finish up some needed business and have asked me and another volunteer to stay with their baby here in Tanzania while they finish up at home. Me and another volunteer will rotate every few days caring for this child. We would not normally step away from our duties here at Cradle. But this family has been so instrumental in assisting us with some of our needs here at the baby home, that it seems like a small sacrifice to make. We have three new long term volunteers arriving from Germany next week so our help will increase and we couldn’t be happier!

Here’s our baby girl who will hopefully have her adoption finalized in a few months.

On a side note, please pray for our director here at Cradle of Love. She has arrived home from her three month vacation in the states. People from the outside look at all of our pictures here and see the cute baby faces and the semi-modern facility and think that we have it pretty good here. And in many ways, we do have it good for living in a third world country. But the reality is that life here is not easy. Yesterday alone, we lost power three times, were without water for over an hour, had two babies vomit on volunteers, had to drive a half hour or more into town just to buy formula and diapers, technology that didn’t work (and no clear way to fix it as WE are the repairmen!), and foliage in bloom that sends allergies into high gear. And again, that was just yesterday. I haven’t discussed the bush babies that climb through the dog door and scamper around the kitchen eating everything in site! Or the dirty market you must parade through only to haggle for the simplest price. To anyone on the outside, not living it everyday, its seems exciting and a fun challenge. But to those who do live it everyday, and to our director who has lived it for years, its gets so exhausting. And it will make anyone struggle to come back. I mean, in our apartment, we have electicity but it won't seem to work in every room! And I know in the big picture, that seems petty. But its frustrating when we’ve had an “electrician” take a look at it several times. Its right within our grasp of normalcy, but not! Because this is Africa. Its a tease. You get so close to normal life, only to have it constantly interrupted. Africa reminds you that there is an easier life out there… but that easier life isn’t available to you. And for someone who has lived it for so many years, it will wear you down. So again, please pray for her to be able to connect again with the mission and to be able to press through the struggles. Because peace in a life like this is sometimes hard to come by. And WE ALL need some prayers.

~Shae

Until Tomorrow

Welcome to the first installment of “tales from the crib.” Starring Grace,with special guest Agness, and introducing volunteer Ashley. Created, Written, and Directed by Shae-Shae.

“Welcome gentle reader. My name is Grace. Come close and I’ll tell you a little tale of life here in the C-R-I-B! Sssshhhhh. We must be sneaky. These babies to my right and left pretend that they are asleep. Hogwash! I have it on good authority that one handsome fella is a spy for the “other side” of campus. Word in the tub is that he’s moving to the big house soon and he’s trying to dig up "poo” on us to fit in with the cool kids over there. But whatever. I’ve got him all figured out!”

“But anyway, I’m really in a conundrum here. You see, life in the C-R-I-B at Nursery City is quite hectic. Everyone is in everyone else’s business. Just yesterday, I was woken up to the sounds of chatter by our friendly gossip Agness. Oh, she’ll swear that she’s not a gossip, but I can prove that she’s nothing more than an eavesdropper and troublemaker.”

“I am not an evesdropper or troublemaker! I don’t know what you are talking about. I am just a concerned citizen of Nursery City. Its not my fault that your crib touches mine. Take that up with Mayor Church.”

“See, gentle reader? Point made.”

“Anyway, enough with my nosey neighbor, let me show you around my ‘hood. When people come to visit at Nursery City, they get all caught up in the bright lights and flashy cribs. But you don’t really know a place until you’ve seen it from the inside- out. Lets take this journey together, shall we?”

“I think that something is happening over there-“

“Ssshhhh, put your head down, and peek through the slats. Remember, you have to be stealth here at the C-R-I-B. Just keep quiet and BE COOL. No one will suspect that you are watching anything. Come, take a look from my perspective…”

“Nuthin’ from this view… lets take a look from another angle.”

“Man, I’m looking around and still I don’t see what’s up? But I can hear Agness chattering in my ear again. What is up with that girl???? So annoying!”

“ Ah ha! Spotted! The woman in blue. I heard my nanny say her name was Ashley. Honestly, I don’t know WHAT is up with her? She is always so happy and singing and helpful. Just look at her … she’s making funny faces at Joshua. Its so uncouth. I mean, what’s next? Prompt nappie changes and warm bottles? Gosh, they just let anyone in this town. Well, there goes the neighborhood…”

“Ok, gentle reader, Agness is chatting in my ear… something about ‘giving a better tour’ or ‘I have a prettier smile, all the visitors love me’ nonsense. I don’t want my cover blown, so I am just going to let Agness take over for a little bit. Until later… here’s Aggie!”

“Its about time you recognize! Oh hi readers! Agness here, let me tell you a little about Nursery City. Everyone is so helpful and friendly. Nothing too crazy happens here. Its just all….

“…relaxation with friends….”

“… times spent in intellectual thought……”

“….oh, and the occasional REGURGITATION. No big. “

“I guess Nursery City isn’t for the faint at heart. I don’t know what that old cynic, Gracie, told you. But life here in the C-R-I-B is really great. I love being here and you will too. So stop by for a visit. And maybe you can help me figure out what that busy-body Grace is up to. I know she has a plan cooking! Word in the bouncy chair park is that she’s a spy for the big house! But ssshhhhh! You didn’t hear that from me!”

CREDITS:

GRACIE LOU as a stealthy resident

AGNESS as the nosey neighbor

ASHLEY WOLFE as the new volunteer

and

SH-SH-SHUH-SHAE as the creative genius behind “tales from the crib” who just happens to take ridiculous pictures with bunny shaped bath towels.

Tolorance

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING BLOG THAT WAS FIRST PUBLISHED AT FLORIDA HOSPITAL CHURCH WEBSITE. I HAVE, WITHOUT THE PERMISSION OF ITS AUTHOR, REPOSTED HERE. THIS IS AN ISSUE THAT HAS A LOT OF MEANING FOR ME RIGHT NOW AND I HOPE THAT YOU WILL TAKE THE TIME TO READ WHAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN BY MR. MCDONALD.

Sunday, August 15, 2010
Religious Liberty for All? by Andy McDonald

With President Obama’s strong statement in support of the followers of Islam’s right to build a Mosque in New York near the site of the fallen twin towers, the issue is more in the news than ever. At the heart of the question is one of the treasured values of our United States of America, the very first amendment to our constitution:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

With all the rhetoric and fear mongering, it seems many no longer support this valuable and national strength-building piece of our constitution. It sounds like some, even Christians, wish for it to call for religious freedom unless you are Muslim. The early leaders of our “free” nation were all too familiar with state churches and the mandating of some religious test for holding office. In this new land of freedom, Jefferson was particularly interested in both “freedom of and freedom from religion!”

It is good that our nation never adopted a “state church” and instead has been a place where religious freedom was highly valued. Sure, there are religions and sects and spiritual teachings we may think we would be better off without, but our stance has been that religion’s free exercise is between a believer and their “god” regardless of anyone’s opinion.

Mosque, temple or church, local authorities can make it as difficult as they choose to build and occupy a facility. But as long as the codes are followed, and as long as they are applied equally to all, freedom must be maintained.

Undoubtedly, many who support the Muslim’s right to religious freedom simply wish those of that faith who are involved in the building of the structure might be more sensitive to their chosen location in NYC considering it was extremists from the Muslim faith who were responsible for the 9/11 attack.

This all reminds me of Pastor Martin Niemöller’s famous, "First they came ..."

"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

THEN THEY CAME for me

and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Seventh-day Adventists have a long track record of being major supporters of “religious liberty.” Our eschatology predicts a day when religious freedoms will be repudiated with a return to a religious-political rule. Speaking up now in support of the First Amendment may help us not repeat Niemöller’s experience. Freedom for all!

Andy McDonald